Even many decades later Buck Rogers in the 25th Century drips TOTALLY AWESOME GOO, and I'm about to splash your screen with copious amounts of it. Oh you probably have no idea of the NUMEROUS contributions to modern day science fiction that Buck Rogers has given us. For one, it pioneered big-haired women with huge boobs in fiction for a whole new generation of people. And it's still going on.
Have I gone insane you might ask? Pick up any young adult cover, and you'll see big hair all over the place. It's worse than hearing an Amish man say, "The Bible tells us that men should grow beards and women their hair long."
But if you don't believe me, check out the cover art on Brinda Berry's book The Waiting Booth, and you'll see where the "ahem" Buck Rogers influence comes into play front and center. And view any fantasy art (like seriously) from Dungeons and Dragons or any of its spin offs and you'll see the scantily clad vixens that grace such iconic Buck Rogers episodes as "Planet of the Slave Girls." Brinda for the record I LUV YOUR COVER ART!
Princess Ardala in one of the uniforms she wore on her spaceship full of men. IN the future, women don't have to worry about sexual harassment. It's the men that have to worry. She could be on a young adult cover from the neck down even today.
To be fair though, Buck Rogers did show women in a leadership err "position." Princess Ardala of the Draconian empire was well...a princess...and she had huge almost naked bodyguards like Tigerman and Pantherman. However, we didn't get to see Pantherman until the episode "Flight of the War Witch."
This is Pantherman, Princes Ardalla's uh...bodyguard. At one point the ship starts shaking, and he has to stabilize poor Ardala in her nightgown (because nightgowns are what Princesses wear on the bridge of a starship) by gripping her in his strong arms. It's the most ludicrous thing I've seen, but is highly entertaining to see her in turbulence and high heels.
Here's the plot synopsis (it's my favorite episode in the series): In "Flight of the War Witch" a UFO lands outside New Chicago and presents a device for navigating an interdimensional vortex. Learning of the device, Princess Ardala steals it and forces Buck to hurry and enter the wormhole before she can. (Yes, Ardala really does want Buck to enter that wormhole).
Once through, Buck finds the planet Pendar, whose people tell of their conflict with the Zaads, an enemy race ruled by the War Witch Zarina. Lacking the means to wage war, the Pendarans ask Buck to fight their enemy for them. Meanwhile, the Draconians have arrived but Ardala refuses to help the Pendarans. Buck also declines and the aliens withhold the means for returning to their universe leaving Buck and Ardala trapped with no other choice but to comply. Buck asks Ardala to join forces, but Ardala instead tries to befriend the wicked queen. However, Ardala's plan backfires when Zarina thinks her a spoiled child, and Ardala is forced to work with Buck in combating the Zaad forces after all.
Random sampling of hot space babes from a Buck Rogers episode. This is what five centuries of botox, and implants give us. Does anyone want to sing "America the beautiful?" It takes a whole other meaning in the 25th century.
If I remember correctly, Buck even gives Ardala a spanking. But don't quote me on that...I think my memory may be playing tricks on me as it's been years...
And before you laugh...remember that this show got greenlit and had pretty good special effects for its day. Has your story ever been greenlit for a television makeover? Nodding "no." Okay then, people that live in glass houses should not throw stones (I read that somewhere). But have hope! Maybe what you really need is a Buck Rogers-type makeover. I kid, I kid (SEE IMAGE BELOW)
Don't hate on me :'( I only suggested it for the lulz...
Dear Buck Rogers, oh you seventies vixen of a t.v. show, how I long for the return of your roller skates, big hair, and TERRIBLE EPISODE TITLES. I proudly present to ALL OF YOU my eleven picks of Buck Rogers episodes that could also be porn titles (proving that it's contributions to society are many if not overlooked):
1) The Dorian Secret 2) Ardala Returns 3) A Dream of Jennifer 4) Planet of the Amazon Women 5) Planet of the Slave Girls 6) Return of the Fighting 69th 7) Escape from Wedded Bliss 8) Unchained Woman 9) A Blast for Buck 10) The Hand of Goral 11) The Satyr
The lesson here, writers, is that if you want to make sure your work is enduring, don't put "69" in your title.
Just. Don't.
*Giggle
In the comments, tell me the names of some science fiction episodes that you think might be great porn titles. Or, if you can't think of any, name some that are rips of well-known movies like "Saving Ryan's Privates" for "Saving Private Ryan." I love reading them ZOMGAH YESSS! YESSS! :P
***
My author friend, P.T. Dilloway has a new book out. It's called Time Enough to Say Goodbye and is available for purchase for only $2.99 on Smashwords. Click HERE to download now.
I reviewed this book on Goodreads, and you can read that HERE.
Some highlights from my review:
"It's a cross between the serious brooding Dark Knight reinvented by Christopher Nolan and the occult-noir DC/Vertigo big screen adaptation of “Constantine.”
"As usual, Patrick’s plotting is superb. I think the climax is action-packed, fantastic, and something you can’t put down. The temporal mechanics of time travel are original and well-done; I’ve never seen any superpower quite like the one Marie wields in any story. Marie Marsh is incredibly powerful, and I wonder if we'll see her again at some point. It almost seems inevitable, and I think of her as a "Dr. Who" of this series at this point. Fans of the Time Lords should rejoice!"
Is there an unwritten rule of genre fiction? Sure. Good thing I'm a writer too because if I didn't write it down and just...I dunno...told you about it, chances are it would remain unwritten. Life has little ironies like that. So, I've been thinking. At first, I sat in front of my word processor working on my paranormal masterpiece that P.T. Dilloway says has an unpronounceable name (I dunno what he's talking about because Caledfwlch is as easy to pronounce and spell as "Bob") and started to wonder, how DO you create holy water exactly? and realized that you can't just boil the hell out of it. Get it...boil the "hell" out of it? Disclaimer: if you don't find that last line funny, then this next question totally applies to you:
But I digress, and I have some more completely random points to make before I'm through with you. So more to the point, what (you may ask) is my epiphany for the writing world? It is this oh beautiful people:
To create an interesting character give them a hat.
I KNOW, RIGHT?!?! I mean IT'S SO SIMPLE WHY DIDN'T YOU THINK ABOUT THIS?!? Allow me to explain in a way that will poignantly illustrate why I am me and you are you.
First, this is totally THE REASON why I have Jordan wear a sports cap on his head all throughout Slipstream and Oculus. SERIOUSLY. And for anyone that's read my books, he'd so be less cool without a hat. And second...well there really is no second. So let's just go with "first" and examine how I arrived at this conclusion? Easy...by paying attention to books, movies, comics, and video games in the last 30 years. It sure as heck wasn't doing anything constructive with my life.
1) The Sorting Hat. Everyone's read the Harry Potter books. If you haven't, you should just go out and punch a bunny right now because you are a mean person. Now, for those readers of my blog who are not out and punching bunnies, admit this one truth: the story really takes off post "Sorting hat." It's kind of the defining moment marking a change of direction from "I have no idea where this story is headed" to "oooh, now everyone has a motive behind all their mean-ness."
Harry looks constipated in this picture. I hope everything comes out all right. :/
2) OddJob. The huge mute Korean from the James Bond 007 film, "Goldfinger" is remarkably uninteresting unless you like huge Korean men who can crush golf balls into dust. But wait, there's a scene where he throws his bowler hat and lops off the head of a stone statue. At that point, you realized, "Hey, this is an Asian stereotype with flare. He may only drive the white guy around and probably still do his laundry, but at least he has an accessory with a deadly razor blade ring of metal in it." I guess given the time, it was difficult to entrust a gun with a Korean. You can bet that we won't see this again anywhere.
I get no speaking lines. I just crush golf balls into powder and wear this completely innocuous hat that really sets off my eyes. No, it doesn't have a deadly blade in the rim that I can direct better than a Frisbee.
3) Kung Lao. This guy is a video game character from the Mortal Kombat series, introduced as a player character in Mortal Kombat II in 1993. He's a former Shaolin monk, and a close friend of the series' protagonist Liu Kang. Kung Lao gained considerable popularity and favorable critical reception, in large part due to his famous weapon resembling Oddjob's hat (ZOMGAH I JUST SAID IN #2 THAT WE WOULD NEVER SEE THIS AGAIN).
Kung Lao is only cooler than Oddjob because he's drawn that way.
I didn't think Oddjob's hat was all that cool, but there was the time he lopped off the head of that statue. Can Midway top that? I mean come on...what could you possibly do with a hat and a razor blade? It's not like you could slam it into the ground and make a makeshift table saw. *SNORT That would totally be unbelievable and no one would buy that.
WHOAH WHOAH WHOAH! This is a VIDEO GAME THAT YOUR KIDS ARE PLAYING?!
Okay i have to admit...that's cooler than Oddjob's hat. I especially like how the words flash "Kung Lao Wins" as if that weren't obvious. I guess we have to be told everything nowadays.
Okay...maybe there are a few people who would buy that. But is it gross? Or is it just really the coolest thing you've ever seen? I sense a disturbance in the force: like maybe there's going to be a sharp divide on the "perceived coolness" of this graphic based on whether you are a boy or a girl. I don't know what testosterone has to do with it, but the Magic 8 Ball says "Yes."
4) Big Trouble In Little China. This little gem from the eighties deserves its own blog post because it's just that cool. But there's no dispute that hats are the accessory that make or break the on-screen mojo of every character present. Just look at Jack Burton with the hat and without the hat.
Can you feel the coolness radiating from Kurt Russell? Yeah...now YOU know the reason why Jordan wears a hat in my books.
Yeah. If you'd kept your hat on, you wouldn't have gotten your ass kicked.
And don't even get me started on the Three Storms. The only reason the lightning guy lived to the very end was because he kept his hat on.
5) Rick Grimes ala "The Walking Dead." Rick Grimes BEFORE he gave his hat to Carl is a complete badass. After he gave his hat away, he's basically lost his mind. So my premise is that the hat is what kept him from going insane, not the zombie apocalypse and all the emotional baggage that comes with that.
Before he gave his hat away, Rick is clearly in charge.
Rick gave his hat away. Now he's all crying and blubbering and has totally lost it. But his son is now the calm and cool and totally wooden psychopath that we can really get behind.
So there you have it, my friends. Are you now convinced that in your own writing, you need to give your characters a hat to make them interesting?
Flash Gordon is quite possibly the most under-appreciated science fiction film of the last 40 years. Disagree? Hear my argument, dear reader because I have six reasons to back up my claim. Let us start with the first one (which has to do with the writing--a thing for which most of you can relate). For one, "Flash Gordon" features the best megalomaniac dialogue ever written. Here are just a few examples:
Ming the Merciless: "Klytus I'm bored. What plaything can you offer me today?" Klytus: "An obscure body in the SK-System, your majesty. The inhabitants refer to it as the planet...Earth." Ming: "How peaceful it looks." (Ming begins to rain total destruction on the planet with natural disasters) Klytus: "Most effective, your majesty. Will you destroy this, uh, Earth? Ming: "Later, I like to play with things a while...before annihilation."
And it gets better than that:
Princess Aura to Emperor Ming: "Water is leaking from her eyes." Ming: "It's called tears; it's a sign of their weakness..."
This exchange still makes me roll with mirth:
Mariangela Melato plays General Kala. I love her costume. Best. General. Ever. Can you imagine our military dressing like this? Seriously, Star Fleet could learn a thing or two from Flash Gordon's costuming department.
Soldier: "General Kala...Flash Gordon approaching." General Kala (played by Mariangela Melato): "What do you mean...Flash Gordon approaching?" Soldier: "On a hawkman rocket cycle. Should I inform his majesty?" General Kala: "Imbecile! The emperor would shoot you for interrupting his wedding. Open fire! All weapons, now! CHARGE the lightning field! I take personal responsibility in the Emperor's name!"
CHARGE THE LIGHTNING FIELD!
And in the wedding, let us not forget the exchange of vows:
Zogi, the High Priest: "Do you, Ming the Merciless, Ruler of the Universe, take this Earthling Dale Arden, to be your Empress of the Hour?" The Emperor Ming: "Of the hour, yes." Zogi, the High Priest: "Do you promise to use her as you will?" The Emperor Ming: "Certainly!" Zogi, the High Priest: "Not to blast her into space?" [Ming glares at Zogi] Zogi, the High Priest: "Uh, until such time as you grow weary of her." The Emperor Ming: "I do." Dale Arden: "I do NOT!"
But if this incredibly cheesy, yet TOTALLY AWESOME dialogue is not enough to persuade you to look up this old movie and watch it for yourself, here are reasons two through six:
2) Max Von Sydow or James Earl Jones? To this day I have no idea who has a better voice. Is it Max Von Sydow or does James Earl Jones top him? I can't imagine what it would be like to have both actors in an animated flick lending their voice talents to characters on opposing sides. I think it would be incredible, and Disney should get right on this.
3) Ornella Muti. This Asian vixen played the sluttiest character to grace speculative fiction since Jane Fonda in Barbarella. Who doesn't love a great slut? And for the record, Ornella did it better. They really should have dropped the rating on Flash Gordon lower and let Ornella breathe true life into the role of Ming the Merciless's daughter.
Ornella Muti as Princess Aura. Best sci-fi slut EVER. Seriously.
4) The totally gay costumes. I love re-watching Flash Gordon, because it's gayer than The Rocky Horror Picture Show (and that is quite the accomplishment). Seriously, the hawkmen with their shaved legs, the villains all wearing colorful robes splashed with glitter, and the gratuitous flaunting of hunky Flash Gordon's bare chest. But when he isn't running around like that, he's wearing a skin-tight uniform and super shiny rubber boots straight from Frederick's of Hollywood. Elton John and Lady Gaga would totally find themselves at home in a Flash Gordon movie. As a matter of fact, you probably wouldn't even notice them.
These costumes were cool way before Lady Gaga. Go Flash Go!
5) Queen. Yes, they got Queen to do the soundtrack. If this isn't the checkmate reason to see this film, I don't know what is. True fans of Freddie Mercury know that this band had the undeniable perfect sound for Flash Gordon. 6) A Flying City. They are all over the place in speculative fiction stories and novels, but this and Cloud City from Star Wars are the only ones I can remember in film. The moons of Mongo are really cool. And I was kind of sad when the city got blasted by Klytus' warship. And to be fair, Star Wars' Cloud City is done waaay better.
So what about you? Can you think of any under-appreciated science fiction films? Are you also a fan of Flash Gordon? Have a great Monday :)
If you are a writer of fight scenes, I urge you to watch this very short clip of Uriah Hall knocking out Adam Cella in a recent MMA fight. All too often, we see in movies some completely unrealistic fights. Heroes and villains both take an unbelievable amount of damage. This finds it's way into our stories too. I for one, try to limit my fights and keep them short, because I think that fights end rather quickly most of the time. But I'd never seen anything like this.
For those of you unfamiliar with The Ultimate Fighter, it's a reality t.v. show that follows the lives of men who are aspiring to the fame and glory of a champion. And as you can see, they really do put their lives on the line. This video is pretty scary and Uriah Hall has said that he was frightened, thinking he'd killed his opponent. From everything I've read, Uriah Hall sounds like a nice guy. He just wants to win, but he grossly underestimates his abilities. I've no doubt he'll go far in this sport. It took Adam Cella six minutes to come out of the knock out that Uriah Hall delivered to him with one kick. You can see his eyes are glazed (that's not fake) and he's literally in a seizure. Ten minutes after he came out of it, they rushed him to the hospital. He's alive and is expected to fight again in Vegas soon. I think that's remarkable. If Adam were my son, I'd be scared to death for him, get on the phone, and tell him he needs to find another line of work. It's interesting that parents let their boys grow up to do this stuff. I guess I should be thankful, because I get to see the battles and am entertained. But, I think I'd feel differently if I had an emotional attachment to one of these guys.
The Uriah Hall knockout is a reminder to all writers to keep fight scenes brief but powerful.
Now that being said, here is my pick for the five best fight scenes in film history:
5. Rowdy Roddy Piper in "They Live." At the time, it was billed as the longest fight ever filmed. And to think, Roddy just wanted the guy to try on some glasses. 4. Qui-Gon Jinn and Obi-Wan Kenobi from the "Phantom Menace" trying to take on Darth Maul. This fight sent shivers up my spine. Especially toward the end where Ewan McGregor is taking on Darth Maul all by himself and is just about outmatched. 3. This is Jason Scott Lee playing Bruce Lee in the film adaptation of Bruce Lee's life called "Dragon: The Bruce Lee story." the reason I pick this fight as number 3 is because of the remarkable choreography involved just to bring such a legendary bout to life (that supposedly really happened) when Bruce Lee refused to obey the Chinese and restrict the teaching of Kung Fu from Americans. He wanted to "Teach what I want to teach to whomever wants to listen." 2. Vin Diesel and The Rock in the movie "Fast Five." The sheer amount of muscle these guys are packin' puts this fight in my top 2 of my favorite ones to watch. And it's so over the top that there's just no way any person could survive blows like they are throwing. However, it's damn good entertainment. 1. The temple fight scene from "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon." This is my all-time favorite fight ever. If you've never seen it, I urge you to watch. The mastery of martial arts weapons is bar-none, simply incredible. Ziyi Zhang is cheating somewhat with a magic sword, but Michelle Yeoh is a grand master with tremendous skill, and it more than makes up for the difference. Are you a fan of mixed martial arts? Do you like watching real-life fights and see young men battle it out with such brutality that they could kill each other?
How do you feel about the MMA video and do you think it will change how you write a fight scene?
The Walking Dead will be aired by AMC in black and white. I talk about this below. Not only is it a tribute to the comic book by Robert Kirkman, but it is also an homage to George A. Romero who essentially invented the genre with a black and white zombie film called "Night of the Living Dead."
In a kind of chilling delivery, Carl tells his dad in one of the many season 3 promos for the episode "Suicide Kings" (which airs this Sunday), "I think you should stop being leader." Why is it chilling? Because it shows just how much Rick Grimes has lost it, and it's maybe a turning point in the sense that his own son thinks someone else could do better. But the question is: who could lead better than Rick? I know I'd trust him with my life.
For me, there's only one other person that might be suited to leadership in the aftermath of the zombie apocalypse and that's Michonne. We also have yet to see if Tyrese (who was introduced prior to the show going on hiatus last fall) will prove to be the kind of life injection that's needed for Rick to be able to be the force for good that he truly is in a world awash with evil.
Have you read The Walking Dead: Rise of the Governor yet? My post on it is HERE. I want to warn you, that I want to talk about a major spoiler that's in the book that's probably still true of the television show.
>>>SPOILER ALERT<<<
Philip is not the guy you think he is. His zombie daughter "Penny" that Michonne killed was in fact his niece. The guy pretending to be Philip is actually Philip's brother. The real Philip is dead (he went crazy) and in order to survive, the brother took on Philip's personality and kind of "became" his dead brother. Is that f*cked up or what?
Anyway, in the trailer for "Suicide Kings," it's pretty much stated that Philip has lost his mind. Well, unfortunately, "The Governor" lost his mind quite a while ago when he adopted zombie Penny as his own spawn. Michonne killing Penny disintegrated whatever sanity that remained (if you can even call it that). Basically, I don't think the Governor has any reason to live and is going to be absolutely consumed with hatred and revenge. It's not much of a stretch to say the worst kind of villain is someone who has nothing to lose.
As bad as the first half of the season was (and let's face it, a kid shot his own mother so it was pretty bad), I think from this point on, it's going to be filled with nail-biting scenes and all things grotesque. I really feel bad for Rick at times. It reminds me of a drawing I once saw done by a Dungeons and Dragons artist called "A Paladin in Hell." I don't know the story behind this drawing, but you know that the knight in shiny armor is outnumbered. And it can't end well.
Rick is totally this paladin in shiny armor besieged by evil on all sides. That's basically the world of The Walking Dead
This old black and white picture also reminds me to tell you that AMC is retrofitting all of the episodes of "The Walking Dead" into black and white to honor the black and white comic book and zombie craze inventor George A. Romero. They will begin airing them starting with the pilot on February 14th (yes AMC is showing Robert Kirkman some love). Will you be watching "The Walking Dead" in black and white? How do you think it will affect the horror?
And for you gun enthusiasts, here's an infographic that tells you all you'd want to know about Rick Grimes' gun courtesy of my new friend, Anthony Welsch, at the Lucky Gunner. Check out Lucky Gunner if you want to see more :).
My Insecure Writer's Support Group post is below Charity's book tour stop.
Charity's publisher sure knows how to make a beautiful book. Even this tour thing is stunning.
Please welcome Charity Bradford, a new author whose voice is probably going to revolutionize the science-fiction field. Her talent and ability is humbling, and I absolutely love her debut novel, which you should go and buy RIGHT NOW. Anyway, Talia Zaryn, the star of The Magic Wakes has consented to stop by here and answer a few questions. Let's see what she has to say. But first, a little housekeeping.
I love the view of the city in this, but the font they chose is another work of art. Lovely.
BOOK BLURB: Talia has a secret, one that will save her world and yet rip it apart. Only she can decide if the price is worth it.
Scientist Talia Zaryn has always had visions of an alien invasion and of her own death. She’s kept it a secret, hoping they are nothing more than childish nightmares. But when her face in the mirror matches that of her dreams, she fears the dreams are prophetic. Talia must prove that life exists beyond their planet, Sendek; perhaps then people will prepare to fight.
Talia’s work at the Space Exploration Foundation leaves no time for personal relationships, but Major Landry Sutton isn’t looking for a friend. He’s looking for a traitor. His ability to sense emotions convinces him Talia is that traitor until a touch sizzles between them. In an instant their minds are connected and they can communicate telepathically. Just as the two begin to trust each other, the invading force arrives.
Talia and Landry must uncover the secrets of Sendek’s past if they hope to defeat these terrifying creatures. And Talia is the key—if only she can learn to trust the magic coursing through her veins.
CAMERA FADES IN.
FROM THE LEFT OF STAGE, ENTERS AN ASTONISHINGLY BEAUTIFUL WOMAN WITH VIOLET EYES. SHE WALKS OVER AND TAKES A SEAT AT THE DESK. THE STUDIO AUDIENCE QUIETS DOWN.
Welcome to the interview hour, where we dig into the minds of some of the newest characters in the world of books. Today our reluctant guest is a reclusive scientist from the Space Exploration Foundation (SEF), Talia Zaryn.
Miss Zaryn, let’s start off with something simple. What is it that you want out of life?
Talia: That’s your simple question?
Now, you promised to be honest with us today.
Talia: *sigh* I guess there are two things that I want more than anything. First to live through my nightmares when the time comes, and second…
Yes?
Talia: I’d like for people to accept me for who I am. I’d like to feel love like I did when my family was alive.
Speaking of love, what kind of person are you attracted to?
Talia: *chuckles* I’ve stopped looking for a relationship, but I can tell you what I notice first about people. Since everyone freaks out about my eyes, I’m drawn to theirs. Every set of eyes are different, the way the light plays with the flecks of color is fascinating to me.
Your eyes are definitely unique. I don’t think I’ve ever seen violet eyes before. Other than eyes, what do you look for in a man?
Talia: It doesn’t really matter because they avoid me, but strong personalities—alpha males, the ones who know what they want and don’t take no for an answer. I think deep down I hope they can save me.
Save you? You seem pretty independent and capable to me. Tell me what your good at.
Talia: Electronics. I can wire almost anything, it’s almost instinctual.
What are you bad at?
Talia: *laughs* can’t you tell? All things social terrify me. It’s hard for me to trust people and it just goes downhill from there.
Surely you’ve had friends, crushes, things that make every life complete? Tell me about your first crush and those friends.
Talia: Hm, Ardro Gunik, tall, built, and popular from school. Unfortunately, it didn’t turn out well. As for friends, there weren’t many. Just my family and some unconventional friends.
Oh? Such as?
Talia: You wouldn’t believe me if I told you.
Give us a try.
Talia: The trees around my home and a small treeb I named Keeta.
*Laughing* You’re right, I don’t believe you. Trees can’t talk to you and treebs are endangered. Even if you were lucky enough to find one, you’d never be able to catch it. Maybe you’ll be able to make some friends now that you’ve come to Joharadin. Let’s move on. Tell us about your greatest regret.
Talia: I never told my family all of my secrets.
Good heavens! It’s not healthy to tell your family everything. There must be something better than that. Have you ever hurt anyone intentionally or not?
This is the trailer for The Magic Wakes. Watch it and love it.
Talia: I hope not! I abhor violence of any kind.
Come now. Not even a catty fight with another woman over the attentions of a man?
Talia: Why bother when I know…
Know what?
Talia: Nothing.
Don’t clam up on us now! Here, we’ll change the subject. What are you the most afraid of?
Talia: That’s easy. The death from my dreams. Dying alone. I use to be afraid I’d have to watch my family die the same death I see in my nightmares. At least that’s no longer possible.
Okay! I’m feeling a bit down after all this talk of death and no lovers. Let’s end on a positive note. What do you find beautiful about life?
Talia: There is so much beauty in nature. The colors, textures, the sounds. For instance, have you ever just listened to the sigh of the wind through the leaves and the play of sunslight as it filters through the tree canopy?
I can’t say that I have, but the next time I get out of the city I’ll give it a try. Talia, thank you for submitting yourself to our questions. I hope you enjoy our city, and that you find some of the happiness you obviously need in your life.
What actresses could play Talia in a film adaptation of Charity's Book? I'm glad
you asked that question, because here's a short list of women that could possibly
fill the role. Let's take a look shall we?
Amber Heard. A high school dropout born in 1986 who went to New York to work as a model. Big surprise eh? With a body like that you don't need school.
Alexandra Daddario is another young actress born in 1986. I know her from Percy Jackson and from this January's Texas Chainsaw Massacre 3D.
"ZOMGAH IT'S LEATHERFACE AND I'M IN A TUBE TOP AND HIGH HEELS!" Runs from roaring chainsaw
Ashley Greene. She's Alice in Twilight!
There's a pic of her online where she's in nude body paint, but I thought I'd better not use that one.
And Alex, she's way hotter than Kate Beckinsale.
Jessica Lowndes. She's best known for her role as Adrianna Tate-Duncan in the CW's mega smash hit 90210, the reboot of the ultra successful Beverly Hills 90210 (all of the alumni are now Hollywood washouts and Aaron Spelling is dead).
Anyway, she's seen here with a designer purse by Coco Chanel on her arm.
Oh god...how do I know that?
She gets two snaps up in a circle.
Last but not least is Katharine McPhee. You saw her on American Idol.
And the movie she's most famous for is SHARK NIGHT 3D!!!!
NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM
Charity Bradford
ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Charity Bradford has been a voracious reader ever since her 5th grade teacher introduced her to the world of books with Where the Red Fern Grows and Summer of the Monkeys. She’s the mother of four kids that keep her on her toes, constantly reminding her that imagination still makes the world go round. She lives in Arkansas with her hubby and children, and firmly believes that a smile can solve most problems. The Magic Wakes is her first novel.
The Insecure Writer's Support Group is a once a month blogfest managed by science-fiction author, Alex J. Cavanaugh.
My February insecurity has a lot to do with an almost obsessive compulsive need to get all the details exactly right in my stories. For example, Oculus takes place at Cornell University which as you may know, is an ivy-league school in Ithaca, New York. In order to get all the details right, I must have read fifty student blogs for months. I sat through hours of homemade YouTube videos of anyone that went to the school (because I didn't). I took virtual tours of the rink the Big Red played on, I read sports blogs to make sure I even knew what the bus looked like that the Men's Hockey team rode. I researched scholarships and discovered that the Ivy League doesn't give NCAA athletic scholarships. They only do "need-based." That's it, interesting eh?
I also wanted to make sure I understood exactly how a boy with hockey dreams (who doesn't live in Minnesota) gets to play in an NCAA division 1 school, and it isn't what most people think. They are rarely "plucked" from some high school dream team. If they want to make it there, they have to leave home and join a famous Junior League for the majority of their high school career (and stay with a host family) and get lucky enough to attend the NHL draft at 18. Yes, if you are picked by a team at the NHL entry draft you can still go to college. It just means that they've marked you like a dog, but as long as you stay in school, you are not obligated to join up with that professional team.
That's how you get noticed and make it to that level of play. It's quite a credit to have been chosen by, I dunno, the Chicago Blackhawks, and it's what NCAA Division 1 schools want on their starting lineup. Sound like an incredibly difficult path to follow? Well it should because IT IS.
I've read other books where authors wanted to have a player that made it to a college team, and they didn't do this (went the traditional route of being plucked from high school) and that just doesn't happen in men's hockey (and it made me not really like the book all that much because I thought the author was lazy and uninformed). That's why Jordan spent so much time away from his sister...he chose this life and had to live with a host family at the age of 15. Parents of serious hockey teens don't get to see their sons much, and I wanted to point that out because I don't think people know about this.
This is one of the best videos I encountered regarding Lynah Rink
for my book Oculus. College hockey is pretty awesome back east.
I know the campus of Cornell University so well from staring at maps, roads, building schematics, and google earth, that I literally can tell you where to find the Hot Truck (a famous mobile sandwich bus that students hit up late at night). I can tell you what the menu looks like at Collegetown Bagels. And I can tell you what the Men's locker room looks like in Lynah Rink without having been there (including the updated remodeling). I also became a huge fan of Ben Scrivens (who now plays for the Toronto Maple Leafs) and Colin Greening (who I kinda/sorta used as a template for Jordan). And my sports research somehow spilled over to football last year (which I'd pretty much ignored all my life). Two years later, I can quote statistics to you of players like Ray Rice or Andrew Luck, who's playing on what team in the NFL, and I correctly predicted the outcome of the Superbowl a week before the AFC/NFC championships down to Ray Lewis winning the coin toss by saying heads and then having the other team start with the football. My co-workers think I should do fantasy football (which I'm probably going to do) and start betting in Vegas. Now to be fair, I bet my boss that the superbowl would be played between San Francisco and Baltimore and that the game wouldn't even be close. I said Baltimore would smoke SF by at least 20 points because I was banking a lot on the emotions from Baltimore from what I saw last year when their kicker, Billy Cundiff, failed to make an easy field goal. I said, "there is no way those brothers will EVER let something like that slip from their fingers again. They will play their guts out and crush anyone in their way."
Now I maintain that if that freakish blackout had not occurred, that I would HAVE BEEN RIGHT. I think SF would have been crushed by more than 20 points. But you are free to argue with me of course since we shall never know. But I think the blackout made the game "close." Otherwise it would have been a blowout.
But with all this research, I'm insecure. It would really irritate me if someone said, "Hey this thing you described doesn't match up with the real thing, or you got this detail wrong." I'm kind of a perfectionist. I know that I would outwardly smile and say, "Oh well...it's fiction, ya know?" But inside, I'd be like "ARRRGGGHHH. I spent hours researching this crap!" And I'd find some excuse to drive an invisible dagger through their shoulderblades.
I'm beginning to think that this insecurity of mine isn't so much "an insecurity" as it may be a neurosis centered around obsessive compulsive attention to detail. However, I think the devil is often in the details and that in the end, Oculus is all the more stronger for it.
Last week was so sad. We had "The Clone Wars" season 5 finale and the 30 Rock series finale. But alien/immortal Kenneth Parcell would want you to know that life doesn't get any worse for you if you've been locked up in someone's sex dungeon. So if that's your situation, it's okay to be pessimistic. But otherwise, you really have no excuse not to be optimistic about the present and the future.
Tina Fey is unquestionably brilliant. I mean she totally owned her role as Sarah Palin during the 2008 election year, appropriately shaming that dunce for such clangers as, "I can see Russia from my house." But aside from that, her splash on Saturday Night Live led to the writing and creation of one of my favorite series, not to mention the New York Times #1 bestseller Bossypants (which is incredibly funny btw). And by the end of "30 Rock," I not only concluded that it's a shining example of how a drop of speculative fiction can improve any tale, but that the immortal Kenneth Parcell is the allegorical stand in for fiction writers everywhere. It's almost like that "tug on the ear" thing that Carol Burnette is famous for doing. Kenneth Parcell was Tina Fey's "tug on the ear" to all of us out here in t.v. land to let you know "the characters you invent will be immortal, just like Kenneth Parcell."
For those of you who didn't watch 30 Rock...well, shame on you. It was really funny and had a lot of great moments. Here are some facts pulled from the 30 Rock Wiki:
Kenneth is a perpetually cheerful immortal NBC page from Georgia. He came from pig farmer stock, and his best friend is his mother.
Throughout the series, Kenneth's age is questioned. Sci-fi website io9 called him an alien (but I don't think he's an alien). Kenneth told Tracy and Jenna that he'd kept a bird for almost 60 years. He's snapped at Tracy before when he asked Jack if there was an age limit to being a page. Kenneth responded "Who said I've been alive forever?!" When Frank played an iPhone application that emitted a low-pitched sound only those over 40 could hear, Kenneth was in agony. We've seen Kenneth packing up a photo given to him by Fred Allen dated 1947 which reads "To Kenneth, you're the tops!" We've also seen a tombstone which shows Kenneth's birthday as May 27, 1781. He's also claimed that his parents at some point were technically brothers. Interesting, eh?
Kenneth also had quite a "coke" problem during his "Wall Street days." This is revealed to mean he used to work at Blockbuster Video and was addicted to Coca Cola around the time that the film Wall Street was popular on home video.
His personality is definitely religious (and he's part of a fire and brimstone church that has services in a basement). Kenneth also reveals that he has no political views since "choosing is a sin." Instead, he always submits write-in votes for God. According to Jack, these all count as Republican.
And let's not forget the most awesome moment in the series finale that shows you how strange Kenneth really is:
So here's my take: Kenneth is not an alien but just a really nerdy/geeky angel that's stuck here on earth and wants to control NBC. From the looks of the final panel above, that's exactly what he got. And maybe that's just the final validation I needed for my own story. If Tina Fey writes about weird angels, then it's okay for me to write about them too. And the characters I invent, just like Kenneth Parcell, will be immortal too.
Also: huge nerd props for featuring a Bespin Cloud car from Star Wars in the window behind Kenneth.
This weekend's season finale of The Clone Wars reminds me continuously why 1) I wish I had this kind of programming when I was a kid and 2) why Star Wars is so cool and can continuously reinvent itself. For those of you who have kept up with the storyline, Darth Maul and his apprentice/brother Savage Opress (it falls to him to continue the legacy of the lightsaber staff) have taken over Mandalor from Duchess Satine. Remember: Darth Maul only got cut in half when he battled Qui-Gon Jinn in Episode 1: The Phantom Menace. With the technology available in the Star Wars universe, he now has a cybernetic lower half that is hinted about via a belt of shiny illuminated buttons that girds his waist.
I first spoke of season 5 in this post located HERE. And as predicted in that post, my favorite scene happened in "The Lawless" which premiered this weekend.
Obi-Wan and Duchess Satine (the ruler of Mandalor) have found themselves in this situation a lot.
Season 5 Episode 16 called "The Lawless" ended with a spectacular lightsaber battle between Palpatine, Darth Maul, and Savage Opress. Needless to say, it did not go well for either of these upstarts. I had a few favorite lines, most of them spoken by Palpatine.
Palpatine: (Upon admitting that he is impressed with what Darth Maul has accomplished he hurls both him and his apprentice against the windows of the throne room cracking the transparisteel glass and says) "You have become a rival! (thus starting the lightsaber duel to the death).
Palpatine: (Upon killing Darth Maul's apprentice) "There is only one reality of the sith: there can only be two, and you have been replaced." At that point, he just cooks Darth Maul with force lightning which reminds one of the same treatment Luke Skywalker received at the hands of the Emperor in the film "Return of the Jedi."
A ton of things happened in this episode. Duchess Satine (who is in love with Obi-Wan and vice-versa and also a major character through at least three seasons) was imprisoned by Darth Maul who is now in control of the crime lord syndicate. She did manage to get a message off to Obi-Wan. Of course, Yoda and the Council of Jedi's can't do anything because Mandalor is a neutral territory, and the senate won't get involved in a territory that has openly declared it's neutrality. This doesn't stop Obi-Wan from going to the rescue. Already a great jedi by this point, Obi-Wan reminds us of why he's such a great hero and also, that he's not immune to love. All is in vain because this happened (a difficult scene for those in love with the series):
I wanted to scream "Nooo! You can't kill Satine! You bastards!" I hate it when my favorite characters die.
So yeah, Darth Maul using a black lightsaber killed Satine right in front of Obi-Wan, and he couldn't save her (I think that's rather cool, because previously I'd only known of three colors for the lightsabers). It's also quite poetic because now Obi-Wan has lost two people he loved to Darth Maul (his former master went that way as well, and he couldn't save him either).
Obi-Wan also finds out who Duchess Satine's sister is (leader of the rebels on Mandalor). In a way, Mandalor is a mirror of the Old Republic's fate. It's completely overrun by criminals who ultimately are enslaved by the sith in the form of Darth Maul. Although by episode end, it's essentially headless as far as we know unless Darth Sidious wants to use Mandalor somehow in his plots within plots. By far the most spectacular part of the episode though (minus the emotional drama) is when Palpatine took out two powerful sith all by himself because he views them as rivals.
I love how the extensiveness of the universe that Lucas created essentially makes for infinite storylines with characters and villains from the original series popping up all over the place to give credit to what I'm watching.
Below in the 4 minute YouTube clip is the most exciting part of "The Lawless" in which you see the entire interaction between Darth Maul, his apprentice, and Darth Sidious (Palpatine). If hearing about the death of Duchess Satine didn't tug at your heart strings and make you fall madly in love with this cartoon series because of its emotional content, then the entire fight between Palpatine, Darth Maul, and Savage Opress should leave you awestruck because this is a Saturday morning cartoon. Impressed? Nods head. Are you watching "The Clone Wars?" If so, what have you thought thus far of season 5? Does the crispy clean super-detailed HD make you think "boy, kids sure have it nice these days with mp3 players, smart phones, and high definition so clear it's better than what we got in movies in the nineties).
