Pacific Rim's focus on size proves it's the man card dispensing movie of the decade

I think Pacific Rim will be the one movie this decade that issues a man card at the door with the price of every admissions ticket. Why? Because this movie is all about size, and how that matters. And I think I'm pretty safe in saying, that size only matters to men. Women are probably going to get nothing from this movie, which means unless men blackmail their wives/girlfriends to go and see it, attendance should be pretty much 95% men and 5% women.

That being said, the latest trailer for Guillermo del Toro's "Twilight for Men" has got more testosterone packed into two minutes than a tube of Androgel. My favorite scene in this particular trailer: the huge Jaeger mech that unleashes the forearm blades to eviscerate a kaiju. The penetration and shear gutting power of those weapons has got to be over the top.

The only thing that could make this movie better would be a scenario where (when the two pilots are sharing memories) one pilot has a memory of screwing the other pilot's partner. Why else would you make a device that requires shared memories? The drama potential is unlimited! Here's the trailer in case you missed it when it "erupted" all over the internet last week. Watching it leaves me strangely satisfied, yet wanting. Fancy that.

*****

ANNOUNCEMENT: Author Roland Yeomans' book, The Bear With Two Shadows is available on audiobook now through Audible.com. If you don't know what The Bear with Two Shadows is, think of The Wind in the Willows meets the Lord of the Rings meets Native American mythology. You will never listen to another book like it :).

My thoughts are with you, Oklahoma. You are not alone.

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A Fairy Tale For Straight Men

nce upon a time, a prince asked a beautiful princess "Will you marry me?"

The princess said "Hell no" and the prince lived happily ever after.

He rode motorcycles and f*cked skinny big-titted broads

and hunted and raced cars and went to naked bars

and dated women half his age and drank whiskey, beer,
and Captain Morgan....

The prince never heard bitching and never paid child support or alimony
and ate p*ssies and ass-f*cked cheerleaders and kept his house
and guns and never got cheated on while he was at work
and all his friends and family thought he was f*cking cool as hell
and he had tons of money in the bank
and he never read books because he was sexy as all get
and there just wasn't time for any of that
and in the end, he left the toilet seat up.

His name was George Clooney

The End.

See...fairy tales aren't just for women and kids.  Men have them too.  Have a great weekend.

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