Goodbye Breaking Bad. Sundays just won't be the same without you.

SPOILERS AHEAD -- I guess this post is for true fans of the show that tuned into the series finale to watch it along with millions of other people. That doesn't mean that you, my many writer friends, aren't welcome to read it. But I know many of you don't watch television so you may get nothing out of this post at all.

I went to a local tavern/pub last night to watch the series finale of Breaking Bad with other rabid fans. I partook in great conversation while watching a high definition broadcast of it on a 60" screen, eating sandwiches and drinking beer. What a fun time. I told them we should do it again for the Walking Dead.

Anyway, none of my predictions landed where I wanted them. I guess one caveat is that we saw Jesse Pinkman in a flashback to his high school days working on that box I told you about last week. So in keeping with a goodbye dedication, I'm going to reflect on all the ends that got tied up, beginning with...

1) The death of Walter White. I got to hand it to him...pure genius to the end. Rather than succumb to anger over Gretchen and Elliot, he used them and their billion dollar empire to be the best money launderers ever for the 9.5 million dollars that he wants to get to his family. It was great to see Badger and Skinny Pete one last time. I love that Walter finally came clean to Skylar about why he was cooking meth. He admitted that he liked it. He was really good at it, and that it made him feel alive. I think any of us can understand that basic need. When we're really awesome at something, it feels good. RIP Heisenberg/Walter White.

2) The death of Lydia Quayle. She got everything that was coming to her. I loved that she got poisoned by the ricin, and it was perfect that she heard it from Walter White, who tauntingly asked her, "How have you been feeling, Lydia?"

3) Jesse Pinkman lived and got his robot from season 1! It seemed to me that at some point, Jesse had nothing left to live for. However, when he drove away from the compound with Walter White standing alone in his rearview mirror, he seemed glad to be alive. Maybe he can find it within himself to move beyond the swath of death created by cooking meth with his former high school teacher. One thing's for sure: Jesse will never be able to forget his high school chemistry teacher. In that sense, Walter White is immortal. Oh and in season 1, Jesse asked Walt if he was going to build a robot. Walt (at the time) scoffed at him. Well, maybe Walt just needed to be inspired. Embedded in the video below are all the greatest moments when Jesse says "bitch." It'll be Aaron Paul's greatest catchphrase from the show.

4) The death of Todd and his whole murderous family. This was perfect. I thought Jesse might cook a bomb and that turned out to be totally wrong. I found the reality just as satisfying. Walter White rescuing Jesse and then killing Todd's family with a tricked out M60 was awesome. I like how he triggered it to go off when the trunk popped open. I also thought it was great to see Jesse Pinkman strangle Todd to death. Perfect ending to that psychopath.

I wish I could have known Skylar White's fate. Did she go to prison? I kind of think that even with the bargaining chip of knowing where Gomez and Hank are buried that this would not be enough to keep her from jail. I could be wrong though. However using that as a bargaining chip would probably make Marie never speak to her again.

As series' finales go, Breaking Bad's is the best that I've ever seen. I salute Vince Gilligan, Aaron Paul, Anna Gunn, and of course, Bryan Cranston who made it all possible. It's been one hell of a run over five years and you finished it on top. Breaking Bad is easily one of the greatest stories of all time. So goodbye Breaking Bad. Sundays just won't be the same without you.

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Men of Foxwick by Cherie Reich is now available

This cover art is absolutely breathtaking. Brrrr it looks cold though! I hope that
knight has insulation under his plate mail armor!

I'm so excited to be a part of Cherie Reich's cover reveal for her amazing Men of Foxwick short story collection. I read the first in this series called Women of Foxwick last year and absolutely loved it. Here is the review I wrote of it almost one year ago.

Men of Foxwick by Cherie Reich is now available! This fantasy short story collection features five men from the Kingdom of Foxwick.

A blind teen seeks a place in the kingdom. A dragon seer journeys to Wintermill to spy on the queen. A sword master’s worst fear comes true when he fails to protect the royal family. A king falls in love with an herb witch, but will she feel the same way? A hunter will rise to the challenge to hunt down a man-eating monster.

 

The lovely author/bookworm/arch editor extraordinaire,
Cherie Reich herself.  Seriously, buy this woman's books.
She is going places.

For more information about Men of Foxwick, please visit Cherie Reich’s blog. Also, Cherie has a special announcement for her email newsletter subscribers. Click here to sign up for her updates and receive a coupon for a free copy of Women of Foxwick.

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The Serpent's Egg left me in awe of the world-building on Defiance

I watched the Defiance episode "The Serpent's Egg" on Monday and am in awe of their world-building. As a fan of world-building myself, one of the things that struck me in the episode is how they are peeling the layers back from the mystery that is Irisa, and in doing so, revealing a lot about the world after the invasion. How do they do this? It's a perfect expose of "Show" and don't tell. Writers, you should be listening.

This is the leader of the snake cult that tortured and probably sexually molested Irisa as a child
when her awful parents gave her to him for such experiments. The introduction of this character
hints at a very dark religion that not only sounds villainous, but may have true power because of
Irisa's burgeoning supernatural abilities. I wonder if she'll get manipulated into serving them in the future.

Irisa spots a sharply-dressed Irathient that spawns quick flashes of snakes and some kind of ritual that could make your blood go cold if you walked in on it accidentally. Obviously, the Irathient man is no stranger and is somehow connected to Irisa's past but we don't quite know yet how all the pieces fit together. When they do come together...it's almost Manson-esque weird. She kidnaps this guy and forces a snake to bite him while he's tied to a chair. Only after that does he finally admit to belonging to a snake cult and we are treated to a tale of how her parents sold her as a child to him to basically be tortured and probably sexually abused. We also find out that he's done this same thing to a number of girls, and Irisa is the only one that survived. Yikes! But that's not all. Irisa is some kind of prophet or messiah and only needs to cap one sacrifice to make "something big" happen.

The whole reveal is done with great skill.  First, the episode does a great job of convincing you that Irisa might have lost her mind. She continuously beats up and tortures her prisoner in a dark dungeon somewhere in Defiance. And he keeps denying that he is who she thinks he is. But later, you realize that this is just a vehicle for her to jog her memory, and once she knows everything she actually chooses to let him go.

Simultaneously with this storyline, there's also one that follows Nolan and the Mayor out of Defiance with a suitcase of cash. Nolan is escorting a dangerous criminal to a prison in Las Vegas and on the ride we are introduced to Ambassador Tennety who turns out to be evil AND a polygamist. When was the last time you got treated to a woman keeping multiple men around? And the polygamy bit is not related to her evil (which is simply nature vs. views on marriage).

I also learned that the St. Louis arch is now a deejay studio. I suppose that works. I'm really pleased with how much I understand of Defiance just a few episodes in. Plus it's a reminder that rather than employing an info dump, it's much better to create your world through the experiences of your protagonist.

Are you watching Defiance yet? Do you think it's brilliant science fiction? What method do you employ to build worlds in your novels?

Have a great Wednesday.

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Jessica Bell talks Adverbs and Cliches and I talk about a Bank of America foreclosure

The Insecure Writer's Support Group can be joined by anyone. You can find the sign up sheet HERE.

April 2013 finds me being less an insecure writer and more a "writer" who just happens to have some insecurities. The difference this time is I'm meeting the biggest challenge head-on instead of running away from it.

What is this challenge? Well, I'm looking to buy my very first home. This is not a new thing but has been an ongoing drama for about eight months now. When I first started looking, I had no clue what I was doing (if you watch the show "Property Virgins" the people buying homes are a lot like me). So I downloaded the real estate apps for Zillow and Realtor.com onto my iPad and started paging through online photos. I saved some that I liked, tracked them for a while, and then I started to get more serious. I got a Realtor and started going through homes. I've found a few that I've liked and I've made offers on two. The first was on a short sale that I loved. The second was on a really run-down home in a completely awesome neighborhood. Think sycamore tree-covered lanes. Yeah...that house was beautiful on the outside, but a dump on the inside. However, I was willing to live in a dump because I figured I could fix it up over time and then I'd be in this amazing neighborhood. But that house went to a house flipper who paid cash for it and had more money than I did. As for the short sale, well it got "sold" in March.

This show is so about me and my struggles.

Well one day in the first part of April, I noticed that the short sale I loved (the one mentioned above) hadn't actually been sold to a homeowner or investor (which is what I assumed had happened since it went off the market). I discovered it had been foreclosed upon, i.e. "sold to the bank."

My Realtor said, "Oh those are such a pain in the ass...let's just keep looking." He had no idea who to contact and really no energy to track down this title. He wanted it easy. You know...the kind where I pick out a regular home, we make an offer, and then I move in. Easy peasy. But he has no idea that I'm historically the person that never does anything easy.  To his credit, he tried to dissuade me by saying things like, "Foreclosures are terrible to deal with, and I've had them go sour over a year later." But I was not deterred. I gotta say this again...I really liked this house. And if it was foreclosed, then that means the bank owns it but doesn't want it, and I'm sure they'd like to unload it. Why not unload it on me? Why can't I be that person? Again, the Realtor just made a sour face, made a call, and said the title was owned by Bank of America. That's where he stopped by saying, "I left a voice mail with Bank of America but they never returned my call."

Okay...I get it dude. I'm going to have to take it from here. So I did. I researched Bank of America foreclosures, didn't find an email address, but I found a physical address. I'm a writer, and I write things, so I penned a snail mail letter and sent it off to Bank of America with a self addressed stamped envelope. Well after a few weeks of stalking and phone calling and even skulking around said property snapping pictures, the trail finally led to a law office. I called them on a Monday morning to inquire about said property and they said they were indeed the ones that represented Bank of America and that it would be put up sometime in May. Because of Freddie Mac standards, they said that it needed some TLC and they were fixing some carpet and doing some roof work. They were not specific in what "work" was to be done. However they were quite clear with my Realtor (when I told him to call them) that when it does go for sale, it will be more expensive than the short sale price.

Ugh. My bubble was burst. I thought foreclosures were supposed to be a deal and not cost more than the original listing. But it looks like Mike will not be getting a "deal." Ah well. I still don't have any clue what price they are going to want, but I've got my ducks in a row finance-wise and am ready to pounce on this foreclosure the minute it hits the market with as aggressive an offer as I can manage. I just hope that "the fixes" they did on the property won't drive the price up to a level I can't afford because the "short sale" price was totally within my budget.

Sure the lawn is essentially weeds, and there's no garage. But it has enough land that I can put in an over-sized two car garage at some point. As for the lawn, I'll get to that as well. I plan to put in a sprinkling system, a new fence, and maybe even a fountain and a deck. I dream of reading in the shade during summer. Did I mention it's near a huge park with really wonderful towering old trees and close to downtown? Oh and plant flowers out front...that is a must during spring/summer.

I'm just really insecure about getting this property. I wonder how many people are also interested in it or even know about it. I wonder how much the actual price is going to be. If I could get it for the price I want to pay (close to the short sale price) I would be in fat city for the rest of my life as far as my monthly payment goes. But I do have a plan if I fail. I'm going to find a lower rent apartment to move into and wait out another year to see if something I like pops its head up and screams "buy buy buy!"

>>>>> Please Welcome Jessica Bell <<<<<

Too many adverbs and clichés in your writing? I've got just the fix for you.
by Jessica Bell

Writers constantly have rules thrown at them left, right, and center. Show, don’t tell! Stop using so many dialogue tags! More sensory detail! More tension! Speed up the pace! Yada yada yada ... it can become overwhelming, yes? I used to feel overwhelmed by it all too. In fact, I still do sometimes. It’s hard enough to get the words on the page, let alone consider how to put them there.

In Anne Lamott’s Bird by Bird, she says that in order not to be overwhelmed, a writer needs to focus on short assignments. She refers to the one-inch picture frame on her desk and how that little picture frame reminds her to focus on bite-sized pieces of the whole story. Basically, if you focus on one small thing at a time, the story will eventually come together to create a whole. I believe the same applies to learning the craft of writing. If writers focus on one aspect of the craft at a time, the process will seem less daunting and piece by piece it will come together.

My name’s Jessica Bell, and my own struggles with feeling overwhelmed inspired me to write the Writing in a Nutshell Series of pocket-sized writing guides. So you can learn to hone your craft in bite-sized, manageable pieces. In the first book of the series, I focused on demonstrating how to transition “telling” into “showing.” In Adverbs & Clichés in a Nutshell: Demonstrated Subversions of Adverbs & Clichés into Gourmet Imagery, I deal with another of the most common criticisms aspiring writers face: to absolutely avoid adverbs and clichés like the plague. But see, right now, I just used one of each. I also used a couple in the first two paragraphs of this post because they come naturally, and we utilize them frequently in everyday speech. But in fiction, too many adverbs and clichés weaken your prose. It’s considered “lazy writing,” because it means we don’t have to show what’s happening.

If your manuscript has too many adverbs and clichés, it most likely means that the emotion you felt while writing it is not going to translate to the reader in the same way. So how exactly can we approach the subversion of adverbs and clichés? For starters, play around with simile and metaphor when you’re trying to convey emotion, and for action, use strong verbs to show it happening in real time.

The key? Think smaller details rather than the bigger picture.

Need some help and inspiration?

In Adverbs & Clichés in a Nutshell: Demonstrated Subversions of Adverbs & Clichés into Gourmet Imagery, you will find thirty-four examples of prose which clearly demonstrate how to turn those pesky adverbs and clichés into vivid and unique imagery. Dispersed throughout are blank pages to craft your own unique examples. Extra writing prompts are also provided at the back of the book.

“Jessica Bell's latest pocket guide, Adverbs & Clichés in a Nutshell, will inspire you to leave bland behind and pursue your creative best. With force and clarity, she demonstrates how adverbs and clichés hobble vibrant writing. She then marks a course toward unique expression and provides workouts that will help writers at every level develop a distinctive voice.” ~Laurel Garver, freelance editor, author of Never Gone and Muddy-Fingered Midnights

Purchase links:
Amazon US | Amazon UK | Amazon Ca | Kobo

Bio: The Australian-native contemporary fiction author and poet, Jessica Bell, also makes a living as an editor and writer for global ELT publishers (English Language Teaching), such as Pearson Education, HarperCollins, Macmillan Education, Education First and Cengage Learning.

She is the co-publishing editor of Vine Leaves Literary Journal, and the director of the Homeric Writers’ Retreat & Workshop on the Greek island of Ithaca.

For more information about Jessica please visit:
Website | Blog | Twitter | Facebook

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Uriah Hall knocking out Adam Cella and the five best fight scenes in film history

If you are a writer of fight scenes, I urge you to watch this very short clip of Uriah Hall knocking out Adam Cella in a recent MMA fight.

All too often, we see in movies some completely unrealistic fights. Heroes and villains both take an unbelievable amount of damage. This finds it's way into our stories too. I for one, try to limit my fights and keep them short, because I think that fights end rather quickly most of the time. But I'd never seen anything like this.

For those of you unfamiliar with The Ultimate Fighter, it's a reality t.v. show that follows the lives of men who are aspiring to the fame and glory of a champion. And as you can see, they really do put their lives on the line. This video is pretty scary and Uriah Hall has said that he was frightened, thinking he'd killed his opponent. From everything I've read, Uriah Hall sounds like a nice guy. He just wants to win, but he grossly underestimates his abilities. I've no doubt he'll go far in this sport.

It took Adam Cella six minutes to come out of the knock out that Uriah Hall delivered to him with one kick. You can see his eyes are glazed (that's not fake) and he's literally in a seizure. Ten minutes after he came out of it, they rushed him to the hospital. He's alive and is expected to fight again in Vegas soon. I think that's remarkable. If Adam were my son, I'd be scared to death for him, get on the phone, and tell him he needs to find another line of work. It's interesting that parents let their boys grow up to do this stuff. I guess I should be thankful, because I get to see the battles and am entertained. But, I think I'd feel differently if I had an emotional attachment to one of these guys.

The Uriah Hall knockout is a reminder to all writers to keep fight scenes brief but powerful.

Now that being said, here is my pick for the five best fight scenes in film history:

5. Rowdy Roddy Piper in "They Live." At the time, it was billed as the longest fight ever filmed. And to think, Roddy just wanted the guy to try on some glasses.

4. Qui-Gon Jinn and Obi-Wan Kenobi from the "Phantom Menace" trying to take on Darth Maul. This fight sent shivers up my spine. Especially toward the end where Ewan McGregor is taking on Darth Maul all by himself and is just about outmatched.

3. This is Jason Scott Lee playing Bruce Lee in the film adaptation of Bruce Lee's life called "Dragon: The Bruce Lee story." the reason I pick this fight as number 3 is because of the remarkable choreography involved just to bring such a legendary bout to life (that supposedly really happened) when Bruce Lee refused to obey the Chinese and restrict the teaching of Kung Fu from Americans. He wanted to "Teach what I want to teach to whomever wants to listen."

2. Vin Diesel and The Rock in the movie "Fast Five." The sheer amount of muscle these guys are packin' puts this fight in my top 2 of my favorite ones to watch. And it's so over the top that there's just no way any person could survive blows like they are throwing. However, it's damn good entertainment.

1. The temple fight scene from "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon." This is my all-time favorite fight ever. If you've never seen it, I urge you to watch. The mastery of martial arts weapons is bar-none, simply incredible.  Ziyi Zhang is cheating somewhat with a magic sword, but Michelle Yeoh is a grand master with tremendous skill, and it more than makes up for the difference.

Are you a fan of mixed martial arts? Do you like watching real-life fights and see young men battle it out with such brutality that they could kill each other?

How do you feel about the MMA video and do you think it will change how you write a fight scene?

Have a great weekend.

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What kink will the Hivemind accept or ridicule?

CLICK TO EMBIGGEN!

Dear reader,

I know you (like me) MUST be confused at what is proper to mock with abandon when it comes to kinks, fetishes, and sex. So I propose we develop a chart or list together that tells us what "The Hivemind" will accept.  That way we are on the right side of the line.  No one wants to be outside "The Hivemind", especially myself.

Imagine the embarrassment of making fun of light bondage when Fifty Shades of Grey is selling so well.  Who wants to be that person? You know...the only one to laugh at a joke while everyone else thinks you're an idiot.

I suggest we begin with the chart above. In the comments, please let us know which of these we can mock openly, ridicule, and say awful things about AND which ones are definitely reserved for respectful treatment.  

Have a great Monday.

P.S. I intend to submit our research to the Harry Potter fan fiction sites of the world. If you read Harry Potter fan fiction YOU KNOW EXACTLY what I'm talking about.

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Analyzing Breaking Bad's Fifty One

On Sunday night I was reminded of why I think "Breaking Bad" is the best show on television by a superbly written episode aptly titled "Fifty One". I've been thinking about it all week, and it's really one of those dramas where you have to notice everything. You can't take your eyes off the screen because, what's being discussed or what's being shown is always important. So if you're a fan, I'm analyzing "Breaking Bad's" Fifty One (spoilers ahead):

Notice how short the "1" is. Totally a wish on Skyler's part for Walt to just die.
Skyler hates Walt so much that it's both tragic and awesome at the same time
because she can't do anything about it. She sold her soul to the devil now
and there's no going back from that.

1) First off we have this new character Lydia that Mike stopped short in killing. We know she works at Madrigal which was helping Gus' operation by supplying barrels of Methylamine. But who the hell is she really? Mike says she's dangerous and Jesse Pinkman stops him from killing her (which for the record I think is a big mistake). I think Lydia is Gus' wife, and I would trust Mike's instincts. If anything, the dude is a super lethal assassin. But he's loyal. And he knows character. Lydia should die.

Lydia and Jesse. In this scene, they're looking at a tracker on the bottom
of a barrel that Lydia claims the D.E.A. must have put there. Mike thinks
she put it there and wants to kill her for it. Mike kills lots of people in
this show.

2) The arrangement of the bacon on Walt's birthday. I looked back to the season 1 pilot, and they did this ritual only with veggie bacon. Now one year later, Skyler arranges real "cholesterol clogging" bacon on Walt's plate to spell out 51. Only she cuts the "1" in half, symbolism that she really wants him to die this year. That's just frickin awesome. She does correct the "one" at Junior's insistence but takes a piece from his plate. This is the statement, "If you want your father to live through this year, it will take life away from you." Now the beginning episode of this season had Walt alone in a diner arranging bacon on his own plate to spell out "52." So we know he lives a full year, and we have the entire season to figure out what happens up to that point. How does he come to buy the huge gun and what does he intend to do with it?

Skyler sitting on the bottom of the pool, content in knowing that even
though she may run out of breath, it's better than listening to Walt
talk about himself.

Walt is so evil now. And I do kind of feel for Skyler. However, she's just as culpable as he is, being seduced by greed and money and the power that came with that. Her fate and Walt's are irrevocably intertwined the same as Persephone and Hades. Walt is going to hell and Skyler is too. But that doesn't mean she has to like him. That becomes even more apparent in a crucial scene-stealing moment when Walt is going off at the table about how Skyler saved him from the cancer and did this and did that for him. She gets so sickened by it that she just "walks into the pool". She sits on the bottom with her dress floating up around her and is smiling cause she can no longer hear him. That's just amazing.

3) The ticking watch. Jesse gave it to Walt for his birthday present but the end of the episode has a zoom in on the watch and the ticking is very pronounced. I recall an earlier scene where Mike calls Walt "A ticking time bomb". Once again, great symbolism.

Here's Jesse presenting a watch to Walt for a gift. Tick Tick Tick

4) Walt sells the mint green Pacer for fifty bucks. This car has been Walt's stable transportation for four years of this show. It's been through everything with him. The mechanic that fixes it compliments the car and says, "It will probably go another 200,000 miles." You can see the distaste on Walt's face as he savors this information. He immediately offers it to the mechanic for fifty bucks. THIS represents one dollar for every year of his life. I was blown away by the symbolism of that. A year ago, Walt lived in fear of his cancer.  He lived in fear of men like Tuco, Mike, and Gus, and in fear of losing his job because he wouldn't be able to pay his bills. He's a new man, having defeated ALL of his enemies. He's killed people, poisoned children, and outwitted anyone that thought they were smarter than him (including his D.E.A. brother-in-law, Hank). So Walt flushes the old life down the toilet, and embraces the new life by buying muscle cars for both himself and his only son "Junior".

There was so much to think about in this single episode. If you are a writer, I think that you would be well served to take one hour of your time each week and watch "Breaking Bad" and see how masters of storytelling can unfold a tale. It's absolutely brilliant.

So my questions for you (if you watch the show):
1) Do you think Lydia is Gus' wife?
2) Do you think that Jesse and Lydia might be working together or that they might have struck some kind of deal?
3) There's a part of the episode where Skyler is smoking cigarettes heavily. Do you think that the cigarette that Walt has with the poison in it will come into play this season and that he'll poison Skyler? I sure as hell wouldn't be smoking cigarettes around Walt.
4) What do you think Walt needed the gun for in the trunk of the season opener? I've been trying to figure that out for four episodes now.
5) Do you think Jesse should have just let Mike kill Lydia? Do you think she's dangerous?

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Asking Editor Cherie Reich Seven Questions

I would like you to welcome super editor Cherie Reich to my blog today. Cherie is a professional editor, an accomplished author, a book blogger, and a super intelligent person. She also practices clear communication. She tells me exactly where her eyes begin to glaze over in my writing. I appreciate that so much, because "eye-glazing" is bad. In other words, "Just say NO to eye glaze."

Q: Do you have a process when editing a book? If so, how do you go about it?

A: My process when editing a book is fairly simple. I just start reading. Then, I begin marking anything I come across: spelling/grammatical problems, redundancy, repetition (I highlight repetition), awkward phrases, etc. I also add comments whether something doesn’t make sense or if it is incongruous with what a character did earlier. I have a very good memory, so I often go back and add plot comments throughout. Some of my initial thoughts change as I read and learn more. I’ll even do brief research to make certain of various problems throughout the manuscript.

Q: Do you think a writer seeking traditional publication should hire an editor before they send out their final draft?

A: The short answer is no, but writers need someone to look over their work. We’re too close to the writing, and we’ll miss things. First, writers should find critique partners, writers’ groups, beta readers, etc. There is a vast world of people who are knowledgeable and willing to help out. These are the connections and networking we writers talk so much about. Often a writer can use these free sources to help whip their manuscript in shape.

If a writer can’t find someone, though, then it might be time to search for an editor. Writers should want to put their best work forward.

Q: As an editor, do you have any pet peeves that you really hate?

A: Oh, my! Where do I start? First, a writer looking for an editor too early. If you want a developmental editor, then that’s different, but copyeditors shouldn’t see first drafts. I’ve turned down clients when I felt their manuscript needed too much work because I didn’t feel like they could perfect the manuscript for publication without more edits than just mine could give them.

I’ve gotten where I hate participial phrases (verb+ing + rest of phrase) because writers misuse them and abuse them. I still use them some myself, but I’ve cut it way down.

Adverbs. I don’t hate them as a whole. Some are needed, but you can tell when it is just lazy writing. I’m guilty of that too.

Lengthy descriptions. Some people love reading descriptions, but I often feel they slow down the pace of a book. Use them wisely.

I’m sure there are more, but an editor will come across something that bothers them if a writer when it is repetitive. And as a writer, I’m guilty of all the things that have become pet peeves of mine.

Q: Is it difficult for you to read a professional novel without consciously looking for errors?

A: It used to be when I first started editing for people. I would just cringe at things. My reading speed halted to a crawl, and I knew an awesome book when I forgot the editing “errors” (i.e. not how I would’ve edited it) and focused on the story. Nowadays, I still notice grammar/spelling errors, some repetition, etc., but I try to keep my editing mind away from my reading mind.

Q: This question is about your writing. Where did you get the idea for the "Gravity" books?

A: Defying Gravity started with Linia. In 2004 or so, my friend had roped me into a Star Trek role-playing game in Yahoo Groups. The group never got started, but I had this neat alien character who remained with me. Then, in 2009, Pill Hill Press put out a call for romantic suspense. It could be in any genre, so I’d wanted to write a space fantasy/science fiction story. Defying Gravity emerged from it. After the anthology being cancelled and trying Defying Gravity at a few other places, I decided to self-publish it. From there, the world developed, and I wrote Fighting Gravity and Pull of Gravity with my mix of Greek mythology, aliens, and a futuristic setting.

Q: As a writer who produces professional self-published books, do you enlist the assistance of an editor?

A: Sorta. Do I pay an editor? No. But one of my critique partners is an editor for a small press, so we exchange work. I also have two other critique partners who have been with me since 2009. I couldn’t imagine writing without their input.

Q: How do you stay sharp on all the grammar rules?

A: I read. A lot. I’m not a very fast reader, but I do read 50+ books a year, blog posts, etc. If I don’t know something, I look it up. I have an Ask the Editor feature on my blog, and people send me questions. Sometimes I know the answer right away, but I always do research to not only find out if I’m correct but to learn more. In high school, I took an advance grammar class (Grammar is like math, and I was good at math). One thing that helped me learn grammar so well was taking foreign languages: Spanish (5 years), French (2 years), German (1 year), Latin (2.5 years), and Ancient Greek (1.5 years). Nothing prepares you for grammar more than learning what nouns, verbs, etc. are in another language. I also write, and using the language helps.

Thanks Cherie for consenting to be interviewed!

Author Bio: Cherie Reich is a writer, freelance editor, book blogger, and library assistant. Her short stories have appeared in magazines and anthologies, and her novelettes are published as e-books. She is a member of the Virginia Writers Club and Valley Writers and placed third in Roanoke Valley's BIG READ writing contest. For more information, please visit her website (http://cheriereich.webs.com) and her blog (http://cheriereich.blogspot.com).

SBB Editing Services: http://sbbeditingservices.wordpress.com/

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Helena Soister and The Compass Master

At 523 pages and some 100 chapters, The Compass Master is not a book for the people who gobble up Twilight fan-fiction like it was cotton candy. Fortunately, I'm not one of those people.

So what is The Compass Master? In short, it's a book that chronicles the discovery of extraordinary Biblical artifacts: the alleged final epistle by Paul written by the apostle himself, another by the granddaughter of a female apostle who debunks the Book of Revelation in the New Testament, and one by the monk who hid both of these.

The story is told through differing points-of-view (third person omniscient). The main one is Layla Daltry, a sexy, athletic, and incredibly smart heroine who (when teamed with Zach--an equally sexy male counterpart) is able to unravel a mystery that the Catholic church has kept secret for centuries. Another character is a nun who is in her own right a heroine with church secrets to protect. Finally, there are the bad guys, twin brother assassins in service to an American who want to stop Layla Daltry from fulfilling her quest which could create a firestorm among the academic and religious authorities of the Christian world.

So in analyzing this book, it may be best to start with the question "Who are the Compass Masters?" They were men who called their drawing compasses "diviners" because they believed in sacred mysteries which they could divine through mathematics. In other words, they attempted to explain mysteries through secret codes that they then built into actual structures.

I tend to think that the title "The Compass Master" is a nod to Zach who is essentially one of these "Compass Masters" if not actually a part of that society because he figures so much out by using math. In fact, there is throughout this novel, a theme of numbers and geometric shapes. As Helena points out in this book, it was Plato who taught that by studying geometry a person purifies the eye of the soul. "To them and other medieval intellectuals, numbers were a manifestation of divine order, a human fulfillment of the words God uttered in Genesis: 'I have made everything with number, measure, and weight."

The Compass Master is one of the most cerebral reads that I have taken on since Murukami's 1Q84. I found myself pausing often to reflect upon what the author was pointing out about our knowledge of the Book of Revelation and how it was essentially put into The Bible because the Catholic Church desired control. "Fill them with fear and tell them that your religion alone holds the key to their salvation...Have them focus on the next world while religious and political leaders control wealth and power in this one." Conspiracy theories abound in this tale. But then, you really can't have secret societies and not go into conspiracy theories. That's where all the fun is.

I give The Compass Master five stars out of five. I have read the Dan Brown novels (DaVinci Code and Angels and Demons), and I think this book could easily sit on the shelf with those other books. The amount of research that went into this novel boggles my mind. I tip my hat to Helena for weaving such an intricate pattern of mystery, thrilling history, and a courageous examination into questions not often demanded from The Bible. I hope that she's planning another Layla Daltry book so I can see how the fame she garners from the discoveries in The Compass Master affect her life. I'd also like to see if she and Zach will ever get back together. They seem meant for each other. It is sad to note that the abbey in the book is closing because they no longer have enough young nuns to keep it open. It's kind of a poignant "sign of the times" that as the world becomes more educated, the sun begins to set on the Catholic Church.

If you love historical thrillers, I strongly recommend you invest in this book.

Helena blogs at Becoming Layla located HERE.

You can purchase her book on Amazon for $3.50 on Kindle located HERE.

You can be supportive and mark her book "To Read" on Goodreads HERE.

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Nightfire by Alyson Burdette will set your kindle on fire

I give this book five stars out of five.

I just finished Alyson Burdette's Nightfire, and I have to say that this is one of the best vampire books I have ever read. Just so you know, I read Anita Blake (Laurel K. Hamilton), Anne Rice (Lestat), and have read the first book in the Twilight series so it's not like I'm a stranger to vampire fiction.

What I loved:

1) Olivia. She's an amazing and refreshing protagonist. This is a vampire novel told from the female point-of-view (as a vampire and something else). I'm going to leave the "something else" as a spoiler free thing. But trust me...Olivia is not a run-of-the-mill vamp. There's a reason she hangs out around all that water in Peninsula, and I can't wait to see Alyson explore this in future installments of the series.

2) Jesse. Although he does something that is pretty terrible, I couldn't help feeling drawn to his obvious charm. It's clear that he loves Olivia, wants what he sees as is best for her, but ends up hurting her terribly in the climax of the book all to prove a point. I wonder if she'll be able to see that Jesse is probably better for her than William, but Olivia is definitely stuck on William.

3) William. The handsome vampire hunter. Aside from being a tough-as-nails guy he's also got the whole swoon worthy blue-eyed boy-next-door thing going on. I loved every scene in which Alyson explores with this guy. It's some of the best romance writing around.

4) Alyson's prose. She is a great writer. Here are examples pulled from the book:

"He's suddenly little more than a memory, and I wonder if my body has remembered how to dream...His deep blue eyes open wide as he pulls me toward him. They are two glass jars full of fireflies that dance in the moonlight."

"I spit the words out at him, wishing they were knives."

"He laughs, and it is the sound of a thousand birds in song."

Pretty amazing, right?

So yeah. Alyson...when can we expect a sequel? Nightfire has left me wanting more :))

If you haven't met Alyson yet, you might want to hit her up on her blog HERE.

If you want to be supportive, mark her book "to read" on goodreads so that others that follow your stream will see that you at least find the book "of interest". Go HERE to do that.

And if you want a sample or can't wait to read it, go to Amazon right HERE.

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The Sholes Key by Clarissa Draper

The Sholes Key is a real page turner. It's a book that reminds me of Whispers by Dean Koontz. I don't know if any of you read any Dean Koontz, but it has that same edge-of-your-seat thrill that I expect from one of his novels.

The Sholes Key takes place in London, and Clarissa immerses us in action pretty much from page one. Furthermore, I got so into the story that I actually felt like I was in Britain.  The dialogue carries the accents that you'd expect to hear when visiting there from America. As a fan of James Bond movies, I really liked this. When I finished, I was so impressed with the book that I did a little research. I guess that this is a book that's part of a larger series, however, it easily stands on its own. I'm definitely going to pick up the others.

The Sholes Key is a cerebral read. Now as a reader, you might ask why would I say that? One of Clarissa's characters, Sophia, is a genius code-breaker. And the kind of code that she has to break in this novel is similar in difficulty to the stuff you see in Dan Brown's Davinci Code. And if she fails, the stakes are quite high. You see, there's a monstrous serial killer on the loose, and he's strangling and mutilating women. And just for your information, this book gets gory. If you don't like gore, you probably will be grossed out by the book. But it's written so well that you might want to chance it in order to read a thrilling novel.

As far as the mystery in the book goes, Clarissa is an incredible plotter, using numbers and codes, and hints to provide just enough information, that you feel compelled to try and figure out the puzzle.  But when you can't (because it's hard) she does give you an answer at the end.  I got pretty close to figuring it out, but close only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades, right?

In addition, Sophia has a sub-plot working as a spook (this is a word I had never seen used before) in the British context for MI5 in order to stop a terrorist. It was refreshing to see a female in the role of seduction instead of a male (James Bond anyone?), so the plot is one of the most original mystery thrillers I've ever read. And Sophia is an incredible protagonist. She's gorgeous. She's a genius. She can cook. She breaks codes. She's a secret agent. She busts terrorists and serial killers and packs a gun and isn't afraid to use it. Wow.

The Sholes Key is a no-business, take off running, kind of book. I don't think there's a single page wasted, a single word that is used incorrectly, and everything means something. You think a detail is extraneous and she comes back to it later and you think...damn, why didn't I see that? And at its best, it's also unpredictable.

I give this book five stars out of five. I can't think of anything that I would add or take away. Way to go Clarissa.

Buy it on Amazon HERE

Mark it "to read" on Goodreads HERE

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Find me at Rach Writes and a Backworlds Announcement

Today is the second day of my blog tour. I'm spending some time with the queen of the platform campaigners, Rachael Harrie. You can find her blog HERE, and I would appreciate a visit.

The Backworlds is here!

The first story in the Backworlds series by M. Pax. A vision of how humanity might colonize the galaxy some day in the distant future.

The Backworlds
After the war with Earth, bioengineered humans scatter across the Backworlds. Competition is fierce and pickings are scant. Scant enough that Craze’s father decides to hoard his fortune by destroying his son. Cut off from family and friends, with little money, and even less knowledge of the worlds beyond his own, Craze heads into an uncertain future. Boarding the transport to Elsewhere, he vows to make his father regret this day.

Available from:

Amazon / AmazonUK / Smashwords / Feedbooks

Other links to more outlets can be found at either Wistful Nebulae or MPax 

The Backworlds is an ebook and a free read. All formats can be found at Smashwords and Feedbooks.

Mary hard at work at the observatory

It’ll take a few weeks to work its way down to free on Amazon Kindle. It will also be available on B&N and iTunes. Sign up for M. Pax’s mailing list to be notified the day it does go free on Amazon, and when the book becomes available at other outlets. You’ll also receive coupons for discounts on future publications. To sign up for the NEWSLETTER

M. Pax’s inspiration comes from the wilds of Oregon, especially the high desert where she shares her home with two cats and a husband unit. Creative sparks also come from Pine Mountain Observatory where she spend her summers working as a star guide. She writes mostly science fiction and fantasy, but confesses to an obsession with Jane Austen. She blogs at her website, www.mpaxauthor.com and at Wistful Nebulae. You’ll find links there to connect on Twitter, Goodread, FB and other sites.

The sequel, Stopover at the Backworlds’ Edge, will be released in July 2012. It will be available in all ebook formats and paperback.

Congratulations Mary!!

Tomorrow, I'm honored to be hosting Alyson Burdette, the author of Nightfire!

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How To Train Your Dragon

“This is Berk. It snows nine months out of the year, and hails the other three. What little food grows here is tough and tasteless. The people that grow here, even more so. The only upsides are the pets. While other places have ponies, or parrots… we have dragons.”

That's how the film opens up. And boy does Berk ever have dragons. Ever since I was a kid, I've been fascinated by them. I thought (wrongly) that they could never be reinvented. That dragons were a thing to be respected and feared. I probably got that from playing Dungeons & Dragons. But I just couldn't envision the cute, interesting, and fascinating variety of the ones that are in this movie. And I was pleasantly surprised. It worked. And it worked well. But honestly, what boy doesn't like dragons? I'd say they're pretty popular with girls too...provided that they aren't being sacrificed to them.

Here's what the author said about her dragons and it's a lesson to all of us writers that even the most jaded of creatures, the most overdone, from vampires to werewolves to mermaids and beyond can be reinvented. You just have to get out of the box and think about what it is that you want to do. Then you need to write about it before someone else does.

‎”The dragons I would write about would not be the rather generalized, big, green things that I had read about in storybooks. What I wanted to create was a multiplicity of different dragon species, of all shapes and sizes, adapted to their environment and habitats in the same way as birds or other animals we see today.” 

             - Cressida Cowell, author of How To Train Your Dragon

And then there is Hiccup. He is a stand in for every awkward, non-athletic boy who wanted desperately to fit-in and just never could. This is the boy with the overbearing father who is unsupportive of a son's endeavors because there is only one correct path to follow in life. This is the kind of father who looks at his son, decides with great disappointment that his boy cannot follow this one correct path, and then sets out to makes sure that they live the most mediocre of lives. The angry man. The drunk man. The selfish man. The man that should never have had kids.

But to this, Hiccup says, “Winter in Berk lasts most of the year.. And hangs on with both hands and won’t let go. And the only real comfort against the cold are those you keep close to your heart. I gave my best friend a pretty great gift.. but he gave me a better one.”

I wish I had a pet dragon when I was a kid. That would have been so cool. Well at least I have the series slated to come out on Cartoon Network this fall. Check out the preview for it below.

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Showtime's Shameless. Writing so good, it soars.

Shameless is one of my favorite shows. It's created for Showtime and is the story of a very dysfunctional family that somehow, manages to find love and function despite extreme poverty. It's a story of survival and opportunism and is probably one of the most heart-breaking, yet uplifting shows I have ever seen. The scene below, in the pilot episode, made me tear up. This writing is incredible. Please watch the embedded clip and get ready for some seriously heavy romance. Grab a tissue. This is a conversation between Fiona and Steve (who loves Fiona so much). Fiona is a girl who has been denied her childhood because she has to care for her brothers and sisters. Mom left; dad's a drunk, and it's only her. And life hasn't been kind. Not one bit.

FIONA played by Emmy Rossum

STEVE played by Justin Chatwin

Steve: "Hello"
Fiona: "If that wasn't bullshit, what was I wearing?"
Steve: "Huh?"
Fiona: "First time you saw me...if that wasn't a lie."

Steve:  "Black top with gold trim, black shiny jeans, thin shoes...straps...sandals...with your hair pinned high. Dangly gold earrings that made me smile. A big watch...too big. So subtle arm movement looked great. And you were dancing next to a red-haired girl in a green dress."

Fiona: "Yeah yeah. Jenna. It was Jenna's birthday. So you were...were watching her...who's a lot better lookin' than me."

Steve: "You think so? Really?"
Fiona: "Yeah...so how come you're not stalking Jenna?"

Steve: "Because you-y-you think like that and Jenna doesn't. Jenna dances for an audience and you dance like there's no one else in the room. Your life's not simple, Fiona and you can't stop it from showing me 'cause you're no fake, you're not lost, you don't need finding. This whole city belongs to the Jennas, but I'm sick of them. I swear Fiona you're nothing like anyone I've ever met! You make me want to enjoy my life again! Are you there?...Fiona?"

It's writing that's so good, it soars. Please please watch the clip. You won't regret it. The embedded video is unwatcheable on Apple iPad and iPhone. I assume it has something to do with flash. Also the video comes from a Chinese server because YouTube had embedding blocked for the exact same video clip. So I went to a lot of trouble to show this to you guys!

Happy Monday.

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Envisioning 15 ways to change up fantasy fiction

This isn't a list I got from somewhere online. Rather, it is my own list that I compiled after looking at Brent Weeks' new fantasy series and finding things that I'm growing tired of. Note that this list is not indicative of his fantasy. Merely...it is indicative of all fantasy that I've read. Read this as "Mike has already seen, read, and done this many times and is ready for something fresh." As a writer, you might possibly spot some red flags in your own writing from a person who is well-versed in the genre.

1) Stop making your villains gay. I hate reading about some horrible evil nasty terrible incarnation of pure evil who is also homosexual while the hero is comfortably heterosexual. And stop doing unnecessary things to male genitalia just to make your villain repulsive. An example of this is in the movie Immortals. Why on earth did Mickey Rourke's character insist on castrating men that worked for him with a huge hammer? There are other ways to be gross.

2) Stop portraying barmaids as sluts with big boobs.

3) Stop portraying dwarves as alcoholics. Not every dwarf in fiction needs to consume huge tankards of ale or beer.

4) Why are all thieves either named "Rat" or have something in common with the animal of the same name?

5) Why are all knights Caucasian? Have a black man or a black woman or a Hispanic as a hero. And having them be a prince is just boring.

6) Why are all elves graceful? Just stop it. Have a clumsy fat elf. And if you're going to use elves...just use them. Don't try to be clever. George R.R. Martin uses "Children of the Forest" and it's just stupid. They are frickin' elves. You're only fooling people into thinking they aren't elves if they haven't read any other fantasy.

7) Why do all male heroes hook up with a woman who is a virgin? Why can't a hero hook up with a woman who's been around the block a few hundred times? Or...even one that's plus-sized or wears a size 14 toga.

8) Heroes having babies. I'm tired of the pregnancy trope. Why can't a hero and a girl get together and say, "Hey...we don't want kids. They're a nuisance and will get in the way of our adventuring." And then have them use magical contraception that religious groups in the world they live in try to pass laws to make them illegal to obtain.

9) All villainous rapists seem to be men. In fantasy, women can be empowered with magic. Why can't they go around raping men and have people badmouth the evil woman rapist?

10) Women as healers. This is always bullshit. How about a man that is a healer and a woman that is the warrior?

11) Single women. Every woman the hero meets is single and available. How about having the hero be already married and the women he meets already married? They just need to get together to do a job. And if they get romantically attracted to each other, then bring on the adultery baby. Does a hero need to be likeable to get the job done? Nope. He or she could still slay a dragon and then cheat on their loving spouse.

12) Multiple volumes consisting of 1000 pages or more. Just stop. No one needs this kind of space to tell a story. No one.

13) Wizards and magic are frowned upon. Oh stop with the closeted wizards that have to "come out". It's getting old. Give me a society where wizards and magic rule everything, have it ruled by women, and men who want to play with swords are the ones that are shunned. But I don't want another "magic school" story. Lev Grossman, J.K. Rowling, and others have beaten this to death.

14) Weak magic. The hero slays a dragon after 500 pages and finds a ring that can turn him invisible. Invisibility sucks. How about a ring that blows up mountains, destroys cities, and turns people into salt pillars? Give me some real powerful sorcery...stuff that destroys armies and summons legions of demons. Think big or go home.

15) The end of the world is prevented. How about it happens and the hero fails and everyone dies? That would be cool.

*End of rant. If you have the time, please check out Briane Pagel's blogfest with writing prompts and Star Wars questions. You can find it HERE.

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An intro to character using only dialogue

Today is the second day of the I'm Hearing Voices blogfest. We are supposed to use only dialogue, but I couldn't figure out how to do that. So I hope mostly dialogue works. Anyway, here's my less than 250-word attempt at it:

“Sorry.  So, why does warm water freeze faster than cold?” Brianna asked him.

“It’s spread over a huge surface area; this causes it to experience intense evaporation which creates an endothermic chemical reaction.  Think rapid cooling that forces a bond with the existing surface area.”

She turned to the counter, “I’ll take one ‘Eggs Melissa’ and I’ll pay for whatever he’s having.”

“—oh, you don’t have to do that,” Jordan said.  “I’ve got money.”

“I know—I just want to.”

The clerk rolled his eyes.  “Want the Sunrise again, Jordan?”

He nodded yes.

Brianna passed over a $20 bill and while she waited for her change, she glanced over at him.  “Is that a good sandwich?”

“Yes. W-well…I’ve tasted it before and it’s delicious, but it really isn’t for me.  I buy one for my boyfriend so he’ll have something to eat when he wakes up.”

Brianna raised her left eyebrow.  “You—have—a—boyfriend?”

“Yes.”

She nodded her head in slow motion and muttered, “Awkward…” They stepped off to the side to wait for their orders which were being freshly prepared.  He thought he should have said something but was at a loss for words.  “So…,” she said, beginning again, “would you like to trade phone numbers with me?  Cornell is a gargantuan campus and it can be difficult to meet people when you’re on a busy schedule.  I thought maybe we could catch a snack sometime…you know…on the quad?”

I'm pretty sure I failed this exercise because I included non-dialogue tags to give me direction. But, without those, it just became talking heads. And I can't stand talking heads. But, I think you can tell a lot by the characters from the dialog which may have been the point. I have no idea actually.

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How to write good

That just about explains it all, now doesn't it?

:) Have a great Monday.

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Believe In Yourself

"I hope you will have a wonderful year, that you’ll dream dangerously and outrageously, that you’ll make something that didn’t exist before you made it, that you will be loved and that you will be liked, and that you will have people to love and to like in return. And, most importantly (because I think there should be more kindness and more wisdom in the world right now), that you will, when you need to be, be wise, and that you will always be kind." 

                          --Neil Gaiman, author of American Gods

Let's own 2012 together. Have a great weekend. :)

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HTTYD

When what we know doesn't suffice...

And when we feel like we don't fit in...

And then we see someone so cool that we want to be around them all the time...

We think...will they like me? Can I finally end this loneliness and have a real friend?

And we fear rejection...

But if we never take a chance, how can we ever know what love feels like?

I have news for you my friends...but it isn't this...

It is this...

• A good story teaches.
• A good story entertains.
• A good story takes you back to a time when your eyes brim with wonder.
• Take my hand.
• Click play and come fly with me on the back of a dragon.

I'm so excited for this sequel.

That is all. :)

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