I Hope Good crushes Evil

Today I am participating in the "This Stupid Pineapple" blogfest that is being held by Briane Pagel, Esquire over at his blog located here. To participate, all you have to do is write a post that begins with the words "This Stupid Pineapple..." and go from there. Please visit his blog so that he can generate more ad revenue and so that he'll have someone reading his 100,000 word blog posts.

Now...off to my entry of this illustrious contest.

This stupid pineapple makes me think of football. Can you blame me? Afterall, the shape seems to be of similar size. ===>

And because I'm thinking of football, I've decided to pick a side for the Superbowl. This is the first year that I've really done so, and I blame Tim Tebow who got me deeply interested in a sport that I otherwise could have cared less about. And I'm serious. I really had no interest in football two months ago. And now I've made three bets with people at work, mostly because my father said that the only way a game is interesting is if you have something at stake. To test out his theory, I made several wagers from people who were more than willing to take my money because they think that the Patriots will win (that also makes them supporters of Evil).

I'm not scientific (is there science to picking a winner) when it comes to this exciting game. I merely read everything I could about the two teams and went with my gut judgement. In short, here is what I've decided upon.

EVIL = TOM BRADY

Tom Brady as you can see here is evil. He's like an angry angry upset
inhuman robot that hates anyone that isn't perfect like he is. If he were
a scientist he would clearly support Eugenics and widespread culling
of imperfect humans and genetically inferior offspring in his search to
conquer all of mankind.

If you don't believe me take a look at the next picture.

The juxtaposition of evil in fiction and in real life is easy to make.

GOOD = ELI MANNING

This is the guy that I hope wins. He is filled with the force
of good. He has triumphed over evil before so I hope that
he has the power to do it again. I have to say, the expression
on his face is pretty adorable. I just don't see how you people
out there can not root for him.

Again...how can you not root for
a guy that has a smile like this?

So that is my "scientific" analysis, and I did follow my father's advice in order to make my television watching more enjoyable. I hope that the adorable Mr. Manning crushes the Patriots and their evil Dark Side empire into the dirt for they seek only to suck all of the joy out of the world.

For you Patriots fans out there that are screaming revenge for the 2008 loss, I hope you lose again. But no hard feelings, okay? If there are...just remember, Briane Pagel made me say these horrible words for his blogfest. Go blame him.

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I joined the cult of Tebow

I don't like football. I don't watch it. And I don't know many of the players. But, I think that this is going to change next year as I have become an unwilling follower of the cult of Tebow. Allow me to explain the term "unwilling". It means in this context that I cannot stop myself from watching him. It probably started weeks before the wild card game where he shot down the Steelers with a play that left me standing and staring at the television and thinking "I don't believe this." It probably started because of Saturday Night Live's skit first alerting me to the "over the top" behavior of this now world famous quarterback. Millions of internet memes pounding my eye sockets as I travel websites like Reddit and follow links that appear on my google homepage are probably responsible. Anyone that knows me knows that I am influenced by advertising. I do follow trends. That's just me. I can't help it. So I got sucked into the Cult of Tebow...all of this despite the fact that I don't believe in god. But none of that really matters now does it?

Despite the fact that I'm atheist, I do respect a man's conviction in what he
believes as long as he doesn't try to dictate my life or what I should believe.
Tebow behaving like this on the field is something I've never seen, and it's
clearly one of the reasons I like him. He stands up for what he believes and
doesn't give a shit what other people think of him. I like that. I respect that. No,
I don't believe that anything "divine" has ever or was ever going on. But the
fact that other people did was worth paying attention to. I wish I could believe
but religious faith is simply something that I was never meant to have.

I have no concrete explanation for why I like him. Only mixed feelings searching for an answer. I also felt sadness. Sadness when the Patriots completely crushed the Broncos on Saturday. I've never felt that for a football team. I don't understand where the emotional investment comes from. I experimented on Sunday by watching the Giants play the Packers, and I felt nothing. I could care less for either team and could care less who won. I also tried to see why people like Tom Brady, and he just looked like an emotionless angry robot that was as loveable as a swather that cuts down wheat on a field.

So that is the key (at least for me) in watching sports. Does that even make any sense? I have to have the ability to root for a player. Without that, the game is meaningless and kind of boring.

It leaves me with a question.  Why do I like this uber Christian underdog? Well he's exciting, he's unique, his confidence is undeniable (maybe it has something do with this)....

In the end, I have no idea.

But he has "IT" quality. A thing that defies my ability to provide a definition in words but is akin to Charisma (but obviously something more than that). People with "IT" command attention.  Whatever you want to call it, he had the ability to wake a fat wet bag of cement (which is what I see myself as) from his apathetic take on football and tune in to watch. I guess next fall I'll be watching the Broncos and Tim Tebow. For now, I'll just have to be content and read his book. Life is so strange, but then again, so am I.

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