Envisioning 15 ways to change up fantasy fiction

This isn't a list I got from somewhere online. Rather, it is my own list that I compiled after looking at Brent Weeks' new fantasy series and finding things that I'm growing tired of. Note that this list is not indicative of his fantasy. Merely...it is indicative of all fantasy that I've read. Read this as "Mike has already seen, read, and done this many times and is ready for something fresh." As a writer, you might possibly spot some red flags in your own writing from a person who is well-versed in the genre.1) Stop making your villains gay. I hate reading about some horrible evil nasty terrible incarnation of pure evil who is also homosexual while the hero is comfortably heterosexual. And stop doing unnecessary things to male genitalia just to make your villain repulsive. An example of this is in the movie Immortals. Why on earth did Mickey Rourke's character insist on castrating men that worked for him with a huge hammer? There are other ways to be gross.2) Stop portraying barmaids as sluts with big boobs.3) Stop portraying dwarves as alcoholics. Not every dwarf in fiction needs to consume huge tankards of ale or beer.4) Why are all thieves either named "Rat" or have something in common with the animal of the same name?5) Why are all knights Caucasian? Have a black man or a black woman or a Hispanic as a hero. And having them be a prince is just boring.6) Why are all elves graceful? Just stop it. Have a clumsy fat elf. And if you're going to use elves...just use them. Don't try to be clever. George R.R. Martin uses "Children of the Forest" and it's just stupid. They are frickin' elves. You're only fooling people into thinking they aren't elves if they haven't read any other fantasy.7) Why do all male heroes hook up with a woman who is a virgin? Why can't a hero hook up with a woman who's been around the block a few hundred times? Or...even one that's plus-sized or wears a size 14 toga.8) Heroes having babies. I'm tired of the pregnancy trope. Why can't a hero and a girl get together and say, "Hey...we don't want kids. They're a nuisance and will get in the way of our adventuring." And then have them use magical contraception that religious groups in the world they live in try to pass laws to make them illegal to obtain.9) All villainous rapists seem to be men. In fantasy, women can be empowered with magic. Why can't they go around raping men and have people badmouth the evil woman rapist?10) Women as healers. This is always bullshit. How about a man that is a healer and a woman that is the warrior?11) Single women. Every woman the hero meets is single and available. How about having the hero be already married and the women he meets already married? They just need to get together to do a job. And if they get romantically attracted to each other, then bring on the adultery baby. Does a hero need to be likeable to get the job done? Nope. He or she could still slay a dragon and then cheat on their loving spouse.12) Multiple volumes consisting of 1000 pages or more. Just stop. No one needs this kind of space to tell a story. No one.13) Wizards and magic are frowned upon. Oh stop with the closeted wizards that have to "come out". It's getting old. Give me a society where wizards and magic rule everything, have it ruled by women, and men who want to play with swords are the ones that are shunned. But I don't want another "magic school" story. Lev Grossman, J.K. Rowling, and others have beaten this to death.14) Weak magic. The hero slays a dragon after 500 pages and finds a ring that can turn him invisible. Invisibility sucks. How about a ring that blows up mountains, destroys cities, and turns people into salt pillars? Give me some real powerful sorcery...stuff that destroys armies and summons legions of demons. Think big or go home.15) The end of the world is prevented. How about it happens and the hero fails and everyone dies? That would be cool.*End of rant. If you have the time, please check out Briane Pagel's blogfest with writing prompts and Star Wars questions. You can find it HERE.

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