Selasa, 28 Mei 2013

Apple's new campus headquarters proves that Steve Jobs was from outer space

When Steve Jobs left us almost two years ago, comedians joked that he was from outer space because he gave us something so amazing, it's been described as magical. And "magical" isn't just a word I pulled out of thin air. It's from a quote I'm borrowing that originated with the NPR Podcast called This American Life, and about Mr. Daisy's visit to the Apple factory in Shenzhen, China. One of the workers who assembles the iPad gets to play with it for a while, and he uses the word "magical" to describe it.

What Mr. Jobs invented was so revolutionary that those who took the time to truly comprehend it were left speechless by his ability to envision it. Therefore, he must not be from our planet.

The joke goes even further in my own day-to-day life as I refer to the iPhone as "my miracle box." You might wonder why, and the answer is pretty simple. It's because my iPhone can do so much stuff that (a decade ago) I never could have imagined outside of Star Trek or in the least, J.J. Abrams' home. Hence, "miracle box" seems like a good nickname for such a device.

Well, it appears that if you share my thinking, the joke's on all of us now. The plans that Steve Jobs left behind for Apple's new campus headquarters to be built in Cupertino, California looks a lot like the mother ship from Close Encounters of the Third Kind. Seriously, if this thing doesn't lift off into space at the touch of the red button, I will be surprised.
Expected to open in 2016 (that's election year for you Republicans who are keeping track of such things), Apple's new 2.8-million square feet facility was brought to the Cupertino city council by none other than late CEO Steve Jobs himself. Catch this little factoid: its diameter is larger than that of the Pentagon. I've been to the Pentagon in Washington D.C. and it's frickin' huge. This thing is going to dwarf that building. Impressed? *Nods head.
The building is meant to incorporate and develop much of the surrounding green space. There's going to be a system of bike lanes put in for all the health conscious tech geniuses. There's going to be bio-fueled "green" buses to take people around and to go to and from work. The facility will also house its own natural gas-burning power plant. I have a friend that says natural gas is the "fuel of America's future." Well if Steve Jobs believed in it, I think it probably means it's the number one choice of space aliens too.
Here's one of the afore-mentioned healthy tech geniuses jogging along the path that probably goes around the huge mega-structure. I guess that's what $140 billion dollars and screwing the taxpayers of America out of billions of dollars in taxes can build for you. Did any of you watch Tim Cook, Apple's CEO, address Congress on CSPAN? Cook completely "owned" them, practically having our senators lapping the dirt off of his shoes. I think Yahoo Finance (which I read to stay on top of stocks) had an article that said, "Tim Cook should tell Congress to kiss his ass." Since Congress is comprised of elected officials, that means "Tim Cook should tell the American people to kiss his ass." Nice, right?
Apple's terms and conditions page 1 of 99 as seen on the iPhone. Remember
Tim Cook says that the United States tax code could take a cue from Apple.
"We like things simple."
When asked to defend his company's practice of holing billions of dollars in tax shelters in Ireland, Mr. Cook responded (more or less), "The tax code has not kept up with the digital age. Apple thrives on keeping things SIMPLE, and Congress should do the same with the tax code. Eliminate loopholes, reduce overall rates, and make it attractive to bring overseas cash back to the United States."

So it's all your fault people. Apple likes things simple. PLEASE REMEMBER THAT THE NEXT TIME YOU READ THROUGH APPLE'S ITUNES TERMS & CONDITIONS, WHICH IS 56-PAGES LONG! Yeah, Apple wants things "Simple."

I gotcha Mr. Cook. Thanks for the advice.

0 komentar:

Posting Komentar

Blog Archive