One of the weird insecurities that I experience when writing or getting involved in creative projects is that I kind of lose myself within them and become (for a short time) unhealthily obsessed. I don't know why this happens. And I think it's a state of mind that I enjoy while I'm in it, but when I look up from the computer or from whatever project I'm working on and realize, hey it's dark outside, that maybe this is not a good thing.
So I guess I'm insecure about losing myself or losing touch with the real world as I immerse myself in these fantasies that I create. The psychology of why I do this is probably even more disturbing, and I really don't want to be psychoanalyzed (yeah I'm gonna hide from the truth). But I'll at least have the guts to admit that maybe I am a little mentally ill. If I am, then maybe there are a lot of authors out there who are also mentally ill, and I'm in good company. If you're one of those writers...have you ever looked at yourself in the mirror and thought: am I insane?
Just to be clear. I don't want to be mentally ill. But it's a distinct possibility that I am. I think that some of the activities in which I engage are not what normal people do. But my life has never been normal. So I guess with all things being equal, I'll plug away at what I'm doing because (at least) I'm pretty decent at it.
And just maybe (and this is where I branch off into my own theories) this is why validation from other people is so important to writers. It's because we all think (deep inside) that we may be insane. And by having someone validate us, those fears are then put to rest. We become authors.
We're not crazy, we're just working.
That makes sense, right?
Have a great Wednesday.
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